OPENING ADDRESS TO THE NSK POST OFFICE

It would not be saying anything revolutionary to remark that the satisfaction of sexual needs in the real world is limited physically, that it is dependent on time and space, that it is restricted by social relations and by the interest of the other person involved, whose desire may not always correspond to the desire of the person trying to consume the object of his or her passion. In short, life is ruled by an iron law that physical sexual pleasure is not only a matter of the individual's free will but is also influenced by many other external factors.

But if science expounds that sensual perceptions, whose qualitative summit is represented by sexual sensation and which directly correspond with a certain electrochemical substrata and processes in our nervous system - and as we know, that which is electrochemical can be translated into, and is compatible with, electromagnetism and waves - we are suddenly faced with the fact that the world of the most cherished senses will not indefinitely be a matter of objective, scientific and market-controlled distribution, exploitation and telecommunication.

If the central nervous system can be effected by the electromagnetic field and special wave-lengths which on the neurological level are translated into a structure corresponding to the construction and energy value of neurotransmitters whose quantum and movement are expressed in one's consciousness as a pleasurable sensation, the entire system can, due to this codependence on energy forms, be navigated telecommunicationally.

Let's get concrete: by controlling the voltage exchange of sodium ions, we can influence the commutation of neuron synapses, which results in increased sensorial extension and possibly even progressive mental abilities. This process could be created with the help of a remote wave pulsation which is reflected in intensified sensations in the brain centre for sexual impulses. This means that if, one day, the world of sensations which is manifested as a specific electromagnetic amplitude, can be transmitted to an individual by means of a special apparatus, the experience of sexual pleasure will be liberated of certain, so far unconquerable, negative external influences and spatial limitations.

Here, we touch upon the very function of the post office. The above could be carried out by means of a telecommunications centre where the decoding of an electromagnetic record of sexual arousal (tactility, dampness, warmth) will be stored in the central computer and transmitted to holders of code cards which will allow access to the database of sex-magnetic information.
Dear ladies and gentlemen, as we can see, phone sex will truly be given the meaning aspired to by modern telecommunications technology: to bring human needs into one's home and to fulfil them there.